Randomly awesome thoughts

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Trust The Man In The Cape

As Jerry Seinfeld so profoundly stated, "For us guys, being a superhero is not a fantasy; it's an option." Having watched many superhero cartoons and movies in my lifetime, I have come to the conclusion that there are people out there that have superpowers, and that aside from being born with powers the most likely way to get superpowers is to be exposed to radiation. Daredevil, the Incredible Hulk, and the Fantastic Four are just a few of the many who gained their fabulous powers this way.

You can probably understand my excitement, then, when I found out that I would have the opportunity to undergo radiation therapy for the brain tumor I had surgically removed six months ago. Today was that lucky day.

The preparation was a little strange but well worth it, considering the possible outcome. The neurologist, radiation oncologist, and physicist collectively numbed my face, punctured four holes in my head, and screwed on a metal frame that went around my head. Once the frame was firmly latched to my head, they proceeded to place different-shaped helmets to my head. I don’t know if my superhuman identity will have a helmet, but if it does I’ll definitely make it less bulky and awkward than the ones I wore today.

I was then shoved into an uncomfortable machine involving loud banging and other strange noises, but I hardly noticed any of the inconveniences because I was too caught up thinking about the possibilities of powers I might get. If I had my choice it would be the ability to read minds and the power to fly. I thought about the power to be taller, but that just seemed a little too unrealistic, and there would be no way to hide my identity.

Finally, the three doctors put a strainer-shaped contraption on my head and sent me into the radiation machine, which looks like a human incinerator. Fifteen minutes later they pulled me out, unscrewed my head frame using an industrial strength power drill that they probably bought at Home Depot, and sent me on my way.

I got my first superpower almost immediately – the ability to get a massive headache - although I noticed I was able to use my newly-acquired super strength… Tylenol to get it under control. My other abilities may take some time to manifest themselves, and I'm willing to be patient. But in the near future if you see a man running around in a cape, there is a good chance it will be me, so just smile and trust that everything is under control.


Karen said...

Yo Logan! I can't believe it - this is absolutely incredible. I'M THE FIRST PERSON TO POST A COMMENT ON YOUR BLOG! YEAH ME!!!

Now that that is out of the way - I love the blanket they had on you during your radiation-transformation. Did the "S" magically appear after the super powers were endowed on you, or was it there in preparation for the super power endowment? Either way, it suits you.

I'm glad Tylenol (super strength, natch) is able to control those bad headaches. You know how sometimes the husband of a pregnant woman will have "sympathy symptoms" (i.e. nausea, weight gain, craving peculiar foods)? Well, I think I have been having sympathy radiation treatment symptoms 'cause I've had a horrible headache for two days. Does this mean I'll also be able to read minds and fly like you? (Although I also understand the wish to be taller - drat!)

I'm so glad to read your blog entry and thank you for allowing such intimate photos to be posted as well. One has to actually see what you were "crowned" with to understand.

I love you Logan. You have been in our prayers here in Sunnyvale and back in Georgia as well. Can't wait to see you at Venna & Blake's graduation in April.

Keep up the good humor and even better health!


orlando said...

lol. Awesome picture!

I'm still reading the rest, but I wanted to say how good the radiation pic is. I love how you got the Incredibles on there too. And the superman heart.

Emily Sue said...

SCREWS in your head? Sheesh, they put you through a lot to get those super powers! Hope the headache power doesn't last forever. And let's hang out when you are feeling better.

Melissa, Jeremy, & Boston said...

LOL! Love ya Logan; you're so funny! I don't know how you go through things like that and still have the ability to make it humorous but I love ya for it. -Melissa

Mike Cunningham said...

This was a ridiculously funny post. Bravo.

Reviewer 1 said...

Logan -
That is freaking hilarious! The picture illustrating the transfer of super powers to your brain nearly made me fall out of my chair I was laughing so hard.

You are the man. I just want to let you know how much I look up to you.

... even if you DON'T have the super ability to be taller.

Looking forward to your next Utah visit-

Sidemoss said...

You are able to combine the painful experience with superhero comedy.
Here we are crying for what you are having to go through. There is this heaviness that each person feels. You are sharing with us the experience.
But on top of that, you give us hope. That is a gift. Keep at it. We appreciate it.

The Gately Family said...

Logan! Logan! Logan! I am so thrilled that your enormous sense of humor has not been effected by the addition of your new super powers. You are always in our prayers that you continue to improve in health. Looking forward to seeing you next time you come to Utah. Thank you for being so open to sharing with us and letting us help support you through this ordeal.

I love you Logan and I am so grateful that you are staying strong!

Take care,

Tamara :-)

Amy F said...

Glad you survived the incinerator. But no shaved head this time, huh? Let us know when your other powers are manifest...

Karen said...

Your mom said you're back to work -because?? Ever ear of "milking the situation?" Buess that's not your style... and let's face it - we love your style!

See you soon in Utah!

Karen & Michael Ferguson

Anonymous said...

You are amazing! (Another superpower, I assume!) You inspire everyone who knows you. Seriously, I could hardly think of what to say here after seeing your, witnessing your faith, experiencing first hand your attitude and unwavering trust in the Lord, His purposes and His love for you. You deserve the best, Logan!

So, now that that is over, time for the "wife" to appear! (That was the deal, right? First brain surgery, then marriage?!) Well, maybe it is that the one female who truly deserves you hasn't yet caught your eye!

Love you so very much and I am so proud to be your aunt!

Aunt Sandy