Randomly awesome thoughts

Sunday, July 20, 2008


I went to the gym today as I normally do 2-3 times a week. Typically when I finish the weight-lifting portion of my workout, I complete my workout with at least thirty minutes on the exercise bike while I read a book - which is pretty much the only time I ever read a book.

Today was not typical. It was not because I was too tired or too lazy. In fact, I had plenty of energy and had my book in hand. I hopped on the bike and began cycling/reading. About ten minutes into my workout and only part way through the chapter, my nose suddenly curled up and I could barely breathe. I am pretty sure I went in and out of consciousness at least twice. There was a slight haze between me and my book, rendering me physically and mentally unable to continue to read.

It didn't take me long to realize why my body was swiftly shutting down. A fellow gym member, completely drenched in sweat and emitting a gnarly odor, had hopped on the bike next to me. To keep from dry heaving in public, falling lifeless to the floor, and then experiencing uncontrollable seizures, I mustered all the strength I had left, slid off my bike, and dragged myself to the men's locker room where (sadly) the air was fresher.I understand that people sweat at the gym. I have no problem with this. But I think it should be mandatory for all gyms to have some kind of offense-o-meter, and if a person's stank registers above the breathable imit, they are immediately escorted off the premises.


f*bomb. said...

What I don't understand is why those guys need to take the spot RIGHT BESIDE YOU. It's always RIGHT THERE- no thought of, "o- I am sweating profusely and should maybe towel off or blot or something, and maybe it would be considerate of me to wipe down the equipment afterwards or even to take a spot further down the row where I'm not so close to other people..." NO. They just sweat onto you and think NOTHING OF IT.

This is why I have a fear of the gym and carry sanitizer.

The Despain Gang said...

LOL; that was a great post! Yeah people stink and it's gross. Thanks for the happy birthday wishes to Jer. :]

Kristin said...

LOL.. That is a great story! Thanks for the ab work out while sitting at my desk. :)

The Despain Gang said...

Love the new style!

Shaun Barrowes said...

there definitely should be some regulations to how much stank a person can emit at the gym, especially in such close proximity to civilized gym-goers. maybe they should just take these guys to the men's room and hose em down before letting them continue their workouts...